My name is Pei-Yin Jiang. I was born in a harmonious family. There are five people in my family, including my parents, one brother, one younger sister, and me. My father is a master formwork. He is an easygoing person. I learn from him that treating people genially, and that being enthusiastic about helping people. Furthermore, he also teaches me that harmony is most precious. My mother is an efficient career woman, who is a female tycoon in my eye. Hers motto is “Failure is nothing to be ashamed of. What’s shameful is losing motivation because of it.” Consequently, she always stirs me to try out everything courageously, and always reminds me about that everyone makes mistakes so do not be afraid. My brother and sister are students. When we encounter difficulties, we would give each other a hand. Brought up in such a nice family, I have become a responsible, honest and mild-mannered person.
首先!!!背景帥翻了~~~~特特!!!
回覆刪除I learn from him that treating people genially, and that being enthusiastic about helping people.
如果是我的話
我會寫
I learn to treat people kindly and always be enthusiastic about helping people from him.
(只是提供意見 不一定要照著我改)
P.S.爸爸的地方結束的有點匆促
who is a female tycoon in my eye
eye要加s
Hers motto 應該改為her motto就行了!!!
大概就醬:">
除了"Hers motto"
回覆刪除應該改成"Her motto"之外
其他都沒有錯了=ˇ=
不過可以的話
還是稍微解釋一下某些少見的英文單字
比較好XDD
錯字應該只有Hers要改成Her吧:D
回覆刪除那個那個~~
formwork翻成"模板" .....
那個是什麼意思阿XD
1.My name is Pei-Yin Jiang.裡的 Pei-Yin Jiang要加逗點喔! 在Yin & Jiang
回覆刪除2.master formwork 是啥? 妳要不是寫說他是精通模板的師父? 這樣應該會比較好懂...
3. Hers的S要刪掉喔! 加了S表示後面的O被省略了!
4.always reminds me about that everyone makes mistakes so do not be afraid. 裡的mistakes & so 中間要加逗號! 我個人會想要用therefore
5.we would give each other a hand.裡的would 我會改成will! 因為是現在式嘛~~