Once upon a time, I went on a picnic with my family. It was a sunny and windy day. We rode the bike with real delight, and enjoyed the scenery on the way with the wind blowing on our face. On the roadside standed several telegraph poles. Out of fun, I beat the poles while I was riding. All of a sudden, I fell into the postern paddy field with my bike. Everyone was frightened at what happened to me. I was covered with the dirt and my whole body was wet due to the mud in the paddy field was moist. Fortunately, I didn’t get hurt, but our picnic fell through. Afterwards, my strange appearance attracted the attention of the passerby all the way. It was the most embarrassing and unforgettable experience I had. Being in such an humiliating situation taught me to be more careful.
1.It was a sunny and windy day.
回覆刪除→(windy是指多風的,前面提到sunny,感覺會不太通順)
2.We rode the bike .... with the wind blowing on our face.
→We rode the bike .... with the wind blowing over our face.
3.Everyone was frightened at what happened to me.
→Everyone was frightened at what had happened to me.
4.I was ...wet due to the mud in the paddy field was moist.
→I was ...wet due to the moist mud in the paddy field.
5.Afterwards, my strange appearance attracted the attention of the passerby all the way.
→Afterwards, my strange appearance attracted the attention of the passers-by y all the way.
6.It was the most embarrassing and unforgettable experience I had.
→It was the most embarrassing and unforgettable experience I had had.
(以上,淺見…)
I was covered with the dirt ~ was moist.
回覆刪除was moist前面應該要再加which吧?(不確定啦XD)
最後一行Being in ~ more careful.
an應該要改成a
姜姜會不會心有餘悸阿:(
due to the mud in the paddy field was moist.
回覆刪除裡面的was moist 少+了一個which!
Being in such an humiliating situation taught me to be more careful.
裡的an 是a~
以上~
我盡力了!
你真好笑!
幹麻沒事找是做呀XDD
"Once upon a time"啊--‥
回覆刪除感覺有種很久遠的感覺說,
我覺得不太適合用在自己的經驗上。
姜姜應該才十幾歲,沒有幾百年那麼‥久,吧?
We rode the bike...
我會把"bike"加"s"。
不確定"with real delight"對不對。
有誤,請指教。
大家都寫了那麼多
回覆刪除都寫完了
那就同上囉=]
It was a sunny and windy day.
回覆刪除感覺還滿詭異的...一邊很晴朗一邊又風很強?!
with the wind blowing on our face
是指"風都吹在你臉上"而不是"風拂過你的臉龐"吧?
姜姜的經驗真是太神奇了XDD
the wind blowing on our face這邊face要加s哦
回覆刪除my strange appearance attracted the attention of the passerby=>passers-by才對哦
好像沒有topic sentence
姜姜♥
We rode the bike
回覆刪除要加s吧!
It was the most embarrassing and unforgettable experience I had.
後面應為I had had